Yesterday I left Nepal for Sri Lanka. Since that time a lot has happened.
I caught a cab with Laurel and Noah (her son) and carried on to Pashupati Temple before the airport. This is a unique Hindu temple where they perform cremations at the Bagmati River. I got the cab driver to stay with my luggage and carried on towards I wasn't sure what. I was promptly stopped at the gates because I was about to head into the Hindi-only part of the temple, but was kindly redirected to where the public can go. The ticket to enter was $1000 Nepalese Rupees, so about $12-$13. I also hired a guide (he just kind of followed me and turned into my guide) and accepted donations, so that was nice that he didn't charge a steep price. He escorted me to the place where you can observe cremations on stone platforms on the bank of the Bagmati. Turns out there is quite a process...
The platform gets wood stacked on it and the body goes on it afterwards. The body is first cleansed with holy water and then wrapped in white linen. Next, the family can add flowers or fabric, jewelry, money, rice, etc. for the body to part with as it enters the spiritual world. Common colors are red (holy), orange (peace), and yellow (love). In the case of the death of a parent, the oldest son walks around the body three times and then another three times with fire (on what, I'm not sure) and then lights the body on fire starting at the mouth. My guide says fire is the agent that purifies the best, and we need that to cleanse our mouths of the bad things we say. The family then watches until nothing is left. This can take 3-4 hours. Afterwards, the ashes are swept into the Bagmati as well as bags of the deceased person's clothes. The sons then shave their heads and have to wear white for a year (in the case of a parent dying). If it was a sibling, they do not shave their heads but refrain from eating meat for 7 days, to respect the fact that the deceased may be reincarnated as an animal. Part of the ashes are put into linen and buried in the bottom of the Bagmati.
There are platforms for the poor, rich, politicians, and royalty (although Nepal doesn't have kings or queens anymore). I witnessed people praying to Shiva, the god of destruction and also the god of fertility (I forget the name of that one). You pray to Shiva to not become/have one of three things: jealous, desire, stupid. Those are things that will keep us from inner peace and enlightenment apparently. With the god of fertility, there are usually 11 shrines in a row (1 woman + 1 man = 11 apparently) so this becomes a holy number. People come to these shrines to pray if they are having trouble conceiving. People sit around them with food and offerings. It's fascinating.
The Pashupati grounds also offers meditation and yoga as well as a hospice. It is believed that the closer you are to a temple at death the faster your spirit can move on. The hospice is free.
It was a very fascinating tour, I was super happy to have gone, but was a little uncertain as to what I would see. I kind of imagined a stack of naked bodies in a dark room on fire. But this was done with such care, dignity, and respect that I can't even describe. It was beautiful to watch, even though that may be disturbing.
I then proceeded to the airport and just hung around until my flight at 2:30pm. One thing I love about Asia is that there is a woman's line since everyone gets frisked. So there are female security guards on one side and male on the other. But it's fine with me because it ends up being like an express line.
I watched a Bollywood movie called Ek Tha Tiger on the plane but it was shut off just before it got to finish because we were landing. (Booo!)
I waited in Mumbai for 8 hours. In that time I had KFC, a frappe beverage, bought a souvenir and watched about 3 movies... the last 1/2 of Spirited Away, Bernie, Pitch Perfect, and 1/2 of 21 Jump Street. Bernie is a true story... highly recommended!
I then boarded my flight to Colombo. It was only 2 hours and I slept for a portion of it. I was happy to arrive although it was 5:00am. Again, going through customs was a breeze. No one scanned my bags or anything. Someone was supposed to meet me in the visitors area, but no one was there. I just stood around and walked up and down the row of people holding signs. None for me. Finally a man from the airport came up to me and I guess he knew my coordinator because he showed me a text from him with all my flight details and information. He said I had to take a taxi to Sarvodaya Headquarters. It was about 45mins or more to get there from the airport. Obviously I got left with the bill which was $40. I only had $37 so that's what he got. And that was a sarcastic 'obviously' by the way. I did not expect to pay for a taxi I was never supposed to take because someone was supposed to get me at the airport. That broke me.
I got showed my room at the hostel. There is a big room with 4 rooms off of it, each with two beds inside. I'm alone in this section. It also has two toilets and a shower. I got into my room, fell on the bed and cried myself to sleep.
I woke up to my alarm one hour later and met with my adviser, Bandula. He just wanted to know about me and my interests and this broke me again. He said we could talk later. I had breakfast then went on Skype and talked to my sister and then Max. It was helpful but not the same as having someone with me in person. This whole day I have been off and on crying. This has not been the start I wanted or expected for my practicum. Everyone is saying I'm 'sensitive' but really I am scared, homesick, and exhausted. I want out.
It was then tea time. No one joined me.
I then went on a tour with someone from headquarters where we saw some of the work going on, such as sewing, needle-point, typing, and orphanage work. The young girls who do the trades are mostly deaf or mute but I think we had some real bonding time because I learned some sign language and brushed up on my Sinhalese. In the orphanage the kids were initially really scared of me... Like, screaming and crying and running away. Not a good ego booster, which I really needed.
It was lunch. I didn't eat much, but had some nice watermelon and apple. But the food was all super spicy. It was just a little too much for me.
Went out on another tour... This time to see the more technical part of Sarvodaya, like the economics building, legal stuff, but also saw a center for meditation and prayer where they work with prisoners and teenage moms etc.. I loved the atmosphere there and would love to go back... but I was seriously eaten alive by mosquitoes which are the one thing I hate in this world. Well, that and spiders. Anyways, it gives me something to think about now that Bandula is gone and I'm plan-less for the weekend. But there is a nice man who works here who said he'd be my guide for the weekend and help me if I need anything.
It was tea time again. No one was there. I didn't go.
Now I just got back from a shopping adventure. A woman named Jasmina loaned me some money to go buy some basic things or whatever. She is staying at the Mount Lavinia Hotel and said I can go there to visit if I'd like. It's on the ocean.. Might be fun.
I got some cookies and crackers, citronella spray (for those pesky mosquitoes), and shampoo. I was out for about an hour. I got stuff done.
So as of right now I am waiting in my room for dinner which is in 2 hours. I am listening to Burton Cummings' "I'm Scared". While I'm feeling a bit better, I'm still constantly on the verge of tears.
"Said I'm scared, Lord, I'm scared, I'm terrified. Never been much on religion but I sure enough would like to hear the call. I'm scared Lordy, Lord, I'm shakin' I'm petrified. Never been much on religion but I sure enough just fell down on my knees"
Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers... I hope things pick up from here. It can only go up, right?
I caught a cab with Laurel and Noah (her son) and carried on to Pashupati Temple before the airport. This is a unique Hindu temple where they perform cremations at the Bagmati River. I got the cab driver to stay with my luggage and carried on towards I wasn't sure what. I was promptly stopped at the gates because I was about to head into the Hindi-only part of the temple, but was kindly redirected to where the public can go. The ticket to enter was $1000 Nepalese Rupees, so about $12-$13. I also hired a guide (he just kind of followed me and turned into my guide) and accepted donations, so that was nice that he didn't charge a steep price. He escorted me to the place where you can observe cremations on stone platforms on the bank of the Bagmati. Turns out there is quite a process...
The platform gets wood stacked on it and the body goes on it afterwards. The body is first cleansed with holy water and then wrapped in white linen. Next, the family can add flowers or fabric, jewelry, money, rice, etc. for the body to part with as it enters the spiritual world. Common colors are red (holy), orange (peace), and yellow (love). In the case of the death of a parent, the oldest son walks around the body three times and then another three times with fire (on what, I'm not sure) and then lights the body on fire starting at the mouth. My guide says fire is the agent that purifies the best, and we need that to cleanse our mouths of the bad things we say. The family then watches until nothing is left. This can take 3-4 hours. Afterwards, the ashes are swept into the Bagmati as well as bags of the deceased person's clothes. The sons then shave their heads and have to wear white for a year (in the case of a parent dying). If it was a sibling, they do not shave their heads but refrain from eating meat for 7 days, to respect the fact that the deceased may be reincarnated as an animal. Part of the ashes are put into linen and buried in the bottom of the Bagmati.
There are platforms for the poor, rich, politicians, and royalty (although Nepal doesn't have kings or queens anymore). I witnessed people praying to Shiva, the god of destruction and also the god of fertility (I forget the name of that one). You pray to Shiva to not become/have one of three things: jealous, desire, stupid. Those are things that will keep us from inner peace and enlightenment apparently. With the god of fertility, there are usually 11 shrines in a row (1 woman + 1 man = 11 apparently) so this becomes a holy number. People come to these shrines to pray if they are having trouble conceiving. People sit around them with food and offerings. It's fascinating.
The Pashupati grounds also offers meditation and yoga as well as a hospice. It is believed that the closer you are to a temple at death the faster your spirit can move on. The hospice is free.
It was a very fascinating tour, I was super happy to have gone, but was a little uncertain as to what I would see. I kind of imagined a stack of naked bodies in a dark room on fire. But this was done with such care, dignity, and respect that I can't even describe. It was beautiful to watch, even though that may be disturbing.
I then proceeded to the airport and just hung around until my flight at 2:30pm. One thing I love about Asia is that there is a woman's line since everyone gets frisked. So there are female security guards on one side and male on the other. But it's fine with me because it ends up being like an express line.
I watched a Bollywood movie called Ek Tha Tiger on the plane but it was shut off just before it got to finish because we were landing. (Booo!)
I waited in Mumbai for 8 hours. In that time I had KFC, a frappe beverage, bought a souvenir and watched about 3 movies... the last 1/2 of Spirited Away, Bernie, Pitch Perfect, and 1/2 of 21 Jump Street. Bernie is a true story... highly recommended!
I then boarded my flight to Colombo. It was only 2 hours and I slept for a portion of it. I was happy to arrive although it was 5:00am. Again, going through customs was a breeze. No one scanned my bags or anything. Someone was supposed to meet me in the visitors area, but no one was there. I just stood around and walked up and down the row of people holding signs. None for me. Finally a man from the airport came up to me and I guess he knew my coordinator because he showed me a text from him with all my flight details and information. He said I had to take a taxi to Sarvodaya Headquarters. It was about 45mins or more to get there from the airport. Obviously I got left with the bill which was $40. I only had $37 so that's what he got. And that was a sarcastic 'obviously' by the way. I did not expect to pay for a taxi I was never supposed to take because someone was supposed to get me at the airport. That broke me.
I got showed my room at the hostel. There is a big room with 4 rooms off of it, each with two beds inside. I'm alone in this section. It also has two toilets and a shower. I got into my room, fell on the bed and cried myself to sleep.
I woke up to my alarm one hour later and met with my adviser, Bandula. He just wanted to know about me and my interests and this broke me again. He said we could talk later. I had breakfast then went on Skype and talked to my sister and then Max. It was helpful but not the same as having someone with me in person. This whole day I have been off and on crying. This has not been the start I wanted or expected for my practicum. Everyone is saying I'm 'sensitive' but really I am scared, homesick, and exhausted. I want out.
It was then tea time. No one joined me.
I then went on a tour with someone from headquarters where we saw some of the work going on, such as sewing, needle-point, typing, and orphanage work. The young girls who do the trades are mostly deaf or mute but I think we had some real bonding time because I learned some sign language and brushed up on my Sinhalese. In the orphanage the kids were initially really scared of me... Like, screaming and crying and running away. Not a good ego booster, which I really needed.
It was lunch. I didn't eat much, but had some nice watermelon and apple. But the food was all super spicy. It was just a little too much for me.
Went out on another tour... This time to see the more technical part of Sarvodaya, like the economics building, legal stuff, but also saw a center for meditation and prayer where they work with prisoners and teenage moms etc.. I loved the atmosphere there and would love to go back... but I was seriously eaten alive by mosquitoes which are the one thing I hate in this world. Well, that and spiders. Anyways, it gives me something to think about now that Bandula is gone and I'm plan-less for the weekend. But there is a nice man who works here who said he'd be my guide for the weekend and help me if I need anything.
It was tea time again. No one was there. I didn't go.
Now I just got back from a shopping adventure. A woman named Jasmina loaned me some money to go buy some basic things or whatever. She is staying at the Mount Lavinia Hotel and said I can go there to visit if I'd like. It's on the ocean.. Might be fun.
I got some cookies and crackers, citronella spray (for those pesky mosquitoes), and shampoo. I was out for about an hour. I got stuff done.
So as of right now I am waiting in my room for dinner which is in 2 hours. I am listening to Burton Cummings' "I'm Scared". While I'm feeling a bit better, I'm still constantly on the verge of tears.
"Said I'm scared, Lord, I'm scared, I'm terrified. Never been much on religion but I sure enough would like to hear the call. I'm scared Lordy, Lord, I'm shakin' I'm petrified. Never been much on religion but I sure enough just fell down on my knees"
Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers... I hope things pick up from here. It can only go up, right?
(okay, third attempt to post this comment. It wasn't working from my phone... trying the computer.)
ReplyDeleteWishing you a good night's sleep and a friendly face! I'm sure you'll feel much more settled after a quieter weekend to rest and explore. You've been SO busy - it's no wonder you're worn out.
Chin up buttercup - you're going to do great!
xo
Lyndsay
Hi Laura, I understand how you feel, every time I go on a deployment I'm so tired when I arrive, I'm in a foreign land with a foreign culture and even though I know some of the people around me, it's so overwhelming it's hard to keep from constantly crying and just wanting to go home. I just want to let you know that it will get better. I found that after awhile, especially once I'm caught up on my sleep which can take a couple of weeks, I would start to feel more comfortable and everything would kind of normalize for me. I would learn how the culture is and meet and get to know some of the locals. By the time the halfway point would come around, I felt much better. After the halfway point I always found that the time started to go by much faster and the next thing I would know it was time to prepare to go home. Not saying there weren't some difficult times throughout once in awhile, but that wasn't as bad as it was at the beginning. Hang in there and I think you'll find it's pretty much the same for you. Something you might want to try, break your time into segments, such as maybe into quarters or using situations as benchmarks to complete and before you know it, you'll be amazed at how fast the time will go by. Also, keep busy, don't sit alone in your room too often because that makes it worse. I hope that helps a bit and anytime you feel you need to talk to someone who has some idea what you're going through, feel free to email me at mjpach@live.ca Take care, praying for you, Jean.
ReplyDeleteHi Jean,
DeleteThank you so much for this message. It has been really helpful to hear from someone who has experienced this (and wayyy more) and can provide helpful tips. I am catching up on sleep and feeling rested with each new day. Sleep is very important to me and has a big affect of my mood. I have also bought some comfort foods when I'm craving something from 'home'. The culture is very different and I think I'll be learning about it most of the time I'm here. But as I get more familiar with things, it's becoming easier. The Indian head waggle is interesting and I think I'm getting the hang of it. Once I have some more programs to try I will section off my time and create some 'milestone' days. Luckily more volunteers are checking in this week from the UK so I will have more people to visit with. Things are really looking up. Thank you so much for your kind words and advice. It is seriously appreciated!